Participate in this writing challenge made me realize that I knew few about my self.
Well, because.. I have no idea what is something that I absolutely love. It can be I love too much, or too little? No idea.
But in my defense, I would say it because I have too much to share and hard to decide which one I love the most. Even while write this, I still can’t figure it out.
So I decide to take deep breath, relax and try to think something that might cheer me up. Try to set my mood.
Hmm.. Let’s start with life.
Sometimes I wonder, what would it be if I have different life.
I love my life. I keep saying it and even sometimes I envy others’ life, I always ended up realize: this is the best life for me.
The next thing I love is to know what to do next.
We all do, don’t we? I hate guessing. Made me feel insecure.
Am not saying that I want everything ‘under-control’. I just need to be assured that I can do it. This too, shall pass.
So, next thing thing that I love is to have companion.
Honestly, am a loner. Some people might hard to believe it, but trust me, my sanctuary is where I can have some ‘me-time’.
But, still, as human, I need companion, right? And as loner, I would be happy to be with someone that understand me and ‘worth-to-talk’.
Yes, I understand, it sound mean, somehow. But it’s true.
Don’t you hate it, to spend your precious, limited time with someone that not worth at all, for politeness sake?
Please don’t get me wrong, I still love to be in community. Currently, am member of NaNoWriMo writing group, BBI and Serapium.
Just like I said before, it’s nice to have someone to accompany you. And, it would be much better if it was someone that really matter to you. Someone who can understand you. Someone that can accept you for who you are.
And by saying this, it was not limited to ‘relationship’ or ‘boyfriend’ thing. I love to have friends, that I can trust and reliable. Friends to share about your dreams, your fears. Those who can keep the conversation going -and interesting. Those who you can count on, and even they can do nothing to help solve your problem, they won’t let you feel you are left alone.
Last but not least, even they said truth is bitter, I prefer to know the truth.
I always try my best to speak the truth cause I hate ‘sugar-coat words’. But, I always love to give someone second chance as I believe anyone can do mistake. And third chance cause I think it just ‘second chance’ and..they still deserve it. And after that, there won’t be fourth chance cause I believe it’s a choice.
Oh, come on, four times and still saying that you have no intention and regret it?
Okay, I might be out of line. My point is, I really appreciate if you just tell me the truth. ‘I don’t wanna hurt your feeling’ or ‘Am afraid that you will be mad at me’ won’t make it any better.
First, as I mentioned before, I prefer the bitter truth.
Second, if you truly not want to hurt me and scared to see my anger, why you did that? Why did something that (most of time) you knew I won’t be happy to hear you do?
That’s a wrap, I guess.
And you might wonder, by saying this, do I love my God and my family less? And my answer is no. I’ve said that I love my life.
My life is given by my God, with my family as my guardian on earth.
So, what about you? Do you mind to share about something you absolutely love?